Natural Family Planning International

We received an important comment from a reader who was unable to reach us via computer and sent this message by regular mail.  It shows the importance of teaching chastity in an NFP program.
   “Nice job on your blogs.  I have used the birth control pill in my marriage and know in my past thinking, that I would not have believed that I was ‘violating’ myself or reducing my ‘dignity’ by using it. 
   My husband and I just helped out on an engaged encounter weekend for our Catholic diocese.  The acceptability of oral/anal behaviors came up, and several people laughed.  Side remarks showed this was seen by some as okay.  It took a very frank, clear, descriptive explanation to teach marital chastity during the fertile time and where marital affection must end when the couple do not intend to engage in a complete marriage act.  ‘Dignity’ and ‘violation’ words never would have been clear enough for these young adults. 
   I often recall one NFP class we taught where withdrawal was mentioned as an unacceptable behavior.  One young couple came up afterwards to clarify if we really meant it.  With further direct, clear input using the Bible and Church teaching, the young woman said, “Well, we won’t be doing that anymore.”  I cannot imagine that a ‘dignity’ or ‘violation’ discussion alone would have affected this couple.”

For posting or reading comments: Two friends had trouble posting their comments.  For reading or posting comments, go to the end of the blog and hit “comment.”  Some have requested that their last name not be given.  You may give only your first name.  I post the comments and can check on this; if your last name appears, I can delete it.  But you must let me know.  We close down comments after a week has passed to avoid excessive spam messages.

Next week:  More on the need for chastity.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
Natural Family Planning (e-book at www.nfpandmore.org)

Every election cycle raises the hope that shining knights will be nominated, elected, and will give us decisive life-protecting victories in the Courts and the legislatures.  And every post-election-day Wednesday makes it clear that the majority of the voters are not ready for such a change.  To put it more clearly, the Wednesdays after voting-Tuesdays make it clear that the culture of death still reigns.  Decisions and policies that protect and even encourage the killing of 4,000 innocent unborn babies each day have received hardly a word of discussion from the front runners and the pundits in the primary election cycle.

In 1992 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Planned Parenthood vs. Casey that abortion was too much a part of the American people’s social life and expectations to be stopped by law.  The decision says volumes about the grip the Sexual Revolution has upon our country with its disregard for honest marital love and its “need” for abortion to dispose of the human effects of sexual immorality. 

Last October, I presented in brief form a paper on the sexual revolution at the annual meeting of the Society of Catholic Social Scientists.  It was very well received, and I am happy to share it with you now as a two-part article at our website.  Part 1 shows that the sexual revolution did not start with the Pill in 1960 but rather with the neo-Malthusians in 1823.  Part 2 calls for practical steps to be taken by the Catholic Church. 

Here are some basic realities that ecclesial leaders need to face and then use to form effective policies and actions.

•There will be no stopping abortion without a rebirth of chastity.
•There will be no rebirth of premarital chastity without a rebirth of marital chastity.  The sexual revolution started with the marital acceptance of unnatural forms of birth control, and it is easier for married couples to practice chastity than it is for singles.
•There will be no widespread rejection of marital contraception without a widespread acceptance of natural family planning.
•There will be no widespread acceptance of NFP without a concerted and sustained effort on the part of Catholic bishops and priests to make sure that all Catholics understand what the Church teaches and form their consciences accordingly. 
•In the current situation of Catholics with culturally formed consciences, that means that bishops and priests need to exercise their leverage so that Catholics will have every opportunity to form their consciences according to the truths about love, marriage and human sexuality taught by Christ through his Church. 
•Bishops and priests have the God-given authority to require engaged couples to take a full course on natural family planning as a normal part of preparation for marriage, and they need to do so. 

These suggested actions will go a long way, when enacted, to show that the teaching authorities in the Church are not just quoting the “official” teaching but actually believe it.  Better yet, it gives our teaching authorities a chance to show that they truly believe that the practice of NFP, whether ecological breastfeeding or systematic NFP, is much more of a blessing than a burden.  Efforts to help Catholics and others to form their consciences according to Humanae Vitae give our ecclesial teachers a powerful example of what Jesus was talking about when He taught, “Come to me… Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . .  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Mt.11: 28-30).

If my bulleted opinions above are well grounded in reality, then the NFP movement has an extremely important role to play.  In my opinion, the real purpose of NFP instruction sponsored by the Catholic Church is to evangelize Catholics, other Christians, and anyone who will listen.  Yes, the practice of NFP is safe and healthy; yes, it is very helpful for achieving pregnancy and highly effective for avoiding it; but the greatest benefit to the Catholic Church is that the right kind of NFP course can be an effective vehicle for conveying a very basic lesson in morality—do good and avoid evil.  Do good by being generous in having children, looking upon them as gifts of the Lord, and bringing them up in the ways of the Lord.  Avoid evil by not engaging in the evil of contraceptive behaviors and the use of potentially abortifacient drugs and devices.  Do good by appreciating the fact that the Holy Spirit guides the Church through its magisterium.  Avoid harm to your health by not using potentially harmful methods of birth control.  Avoid harm to your marriage by making sure that your marriage acts reflect the unreserved self-gift you vowed on your wedding day.

Comment sent: Thanks so much for this Lenten teaching which has aided us for years.  As we approach Easter, we are grateful for this time to do this powerful penance, for our own sins and those of the world.
     We were demonstrating at a pro-abortion-candidate’s rally a couple of weeks ago, and a very young woman yelled out to us, “I have had five abortions!”  How the world needs the virtue of chastity, which you promote so well.  May God continue to bless the work of NFPI.   Ann C.

Next Week:  Why NFPI is important.

John F. Kippley
Sex and the Marriage Covenant (Ignatius)
Natural Family Planning (e-book at www.nfpandmore.org)