Natural Family Planning International

God’s Plan for Me continued

A third factor in my change of mothering practices was a new Catholic obstetrician with our second baby.  He was faithful to Church teaching and encouraged the use of the thermometer for family planning.  He did not recommend the thermometer to me, however, because he knew I wanted to breastfeed.  He told me to breastfeed exclusively and to call him when I had my first period.  It was July and hot at the time.  I remember asking him if I could give the baby water.  His response was that my milk was adequate for the baby.  He stressed that I was not to give the baby water or anything else.

His advice was so different from that of my first Catholic obstetrician who told me I would have a period within three months after childbirth no matter how I nursed my baby.  I thought this first doctor was correct because I did have a period within three months after childbirth with my first baby.  At the time I did not realize that this doctor was not properly informed.  For several reasons I had to search for another Catholic obstetrician with the birth of our second child.  I am very grateful for his “exclusive breastfeeding” advice.

Fourth, while I nursed our first baby frequently, I used an occasional bottle.  Exclusive breastfeeding our second baby brought changes.  I never used a bottle for her or our other children.  In addition, my mothering lifestyle changed.  I went from mother/baby separation to mother/baby togetherness.  If I had to be somewhere, I picked up our baby and went.  We also went from the lifestyle of using babysitters for our first baby to never using a babysitter for our other babies.  When we began our family, my husband believed it was best to expose the baby to many babysitters.  He too changed and felt baby was best with mother.  In America you are unusual when you adopt a lifestyle of mother-baby togetherness.  This major change in my mothering, taking the baby with me, was completely new to me; I knew no one else who did this.  But it was a necessary step toward breastfeeding infertility.  In addition, when you are that close to your baby, you do not want to leave the baby in the care of others.  Your attitude changes.

With our first baby, my periods returned within three months after childbirth.  I had attended La Leche League meetings every month and knew I should breastfeed often day and night—which I did.  Yet menstruation returned early.

With our second baby my first period didn’t return until she was a year old.  Why the difference?  I attended La Leche League meetings while nursing my first baby and then later while nursing my second baby.  At those meetings you learn to nurse your baby often day and night in order to have an ample supply of milk.  The main difference was that I had changed how I cared for our baby.  With exclusive breastfeeding and baby-skin irritation from a pacifier, I quit using bottles and pacifiers.  Taking the baby with me whenever I left the house also allowed for more nursing if needed.  In addition, co-sharing sleep allowed for frequent and unrestricted nursing all during the night as needed.  The main benefit for me was that nursing was one thing I could do in my sleep and I was well rested in the morning.

To be continued next week

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding

Why did my mothering practices change?

While my research began in the medical library, the real “research” began in our home.  I am convinced that God had a hand in the weird events that developed about a year before my research began.  He was teaching me there was another way to take care of our second baby.  Of course, I did not see it that way at the time.  I don’t remember the order of these events, but will mention four major events that occurred early after childbirth with our second baby that changed my, and later John’s, views about parenting.

First, I was very much a part of our culture.  I was adamantly opposed to sleeping with the baby.  Our first baby had a crib in a separate room.  I remember becoming very upset when I came home and found my sister and our first baby, now older, sleeping together on the top of our bed.  My La Leche League leader encouraged me to sleep with both my babies as I am sure I often complained to her about how tired I was after each birth.  I refused to follow her advice.  I thought sleeping with a baby was very dangerous.

One afternoon I was nursing our second daughter before placing her in the crib.  I awoke three hours later to find our daughter still at the breast.  I was so exhausted I had fallen asleep on the top of our bed.  What surprised me was how rested I felt and our baby was safe!  That afternoon was the beginning of a different kind of parenting for us.  For me sleeping with the baby allowed the baby to nurse at will and it gave me the rest I needed.

Co-sharing sleep is an advantage when breastfeeding.  People who are opposed to having baby in bed with the parents don’t realize the dangers of nursing a baby during the night in a chair.  Oftentimes the mother falls asleep and awakes scared because she almost dropped the baby.  This had happened to me.  Sitting up also restricts the nursing due to the mother’s fatigue.  It did for me.  I was tired and tried to get the sleeping baby off the breast as soon as possible so I could get back to bed myself.  Or the room was cold and I was anxious to get back into a warm bed.  There is a big difference in the amount of suckling occurring at the breast when the mother sits up at night to nurse as opposed to nursing the baby in bed.  In addition, more babies die in their own cribs.  A SIDS death is almost unheard of if the situation is normal and proper precautions are taken.  By normal situation, I mean the baby is with the mother and not the boyfriend or some other person, and the mother is not a smoker and is not drugged or morbidly obese or incapacitated in some way. (NFPI offers information on safe bed-sharing at “links.”)

Second, in the early Sixties the University of California dental faculty at San Francisco recommended only one brand of pacifier for good oral health.   This pacifier, however, caused a rash around our second baby’s mouth, so I discarded it.  With our first baby we used a pacifier constantly.   We did not use a pacifier with our last four children.  It’s unfortunate today that most parents believe that their baby needs a pacifier.  What babies really need is that extra suckling from their mother’s breast.

To be continued next week.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding

God’s Plan for Me

Things happened in my life that I didn’t realize were part of divine providence until way after the fact.  One step led to another.  Now I see God’s hand in these events.

A good marriage
First, I believe a good Catholic marriage was important for my ministry.   I look back at my childhood friends on the block.  A friend across the street and one friend who lived two houses up from our home had no siblings.  I only had one sister.  We were all Catholic.  Two Catholic families a short distance from our home, one up the street and one down the street, had three children whom we occasionally played with.  It wasn’t until high school that I became close to a friend from a large Catholic family.  I was impressed with this family and later wondered if this is why I longed to have a lot of children when I became a mother.

As graduation from college came closer to reality, many of my classmates were engaged.  Realizing that if I wanted children, I needed a husband, I began to pray earnestly for that.

Early in my college years I decided to date only good Catholic men.  If I became interested in someone and he wasn’t Catholic, we quit seeing each other.  Oftentimes I had male friends but the relationships were platonic.   With prayer and putting a little effort into it (I joined the Catholic Alumni Club in San Francisco), I met John prior to my graduation in 1962.  John forgets this, but at the end of our second date, he asked me if I wanted children.  The answer was “Yes.”  Then he asked me if I wanted a lot of children, and even how many.  We became engaged on All Saints Day in Church after Mass and married the following April.  We had eight pregnancies—five live births and three miscarriages.  I am forever grateful that the Lord brought us together.

A good science background
In my work, familiarity with science and medical journals would prove to be an asset.  How I ended up attending school at the University of California Medical Center in San Francisco is a miracle in itself.  I never desired to go to college in those days.  My dad’s philosophy for his two daughters was that we should go to college for one year because he believed we should experience what college is like, that we wouldn’t feel inferior.  To encourage us to attend college, he would pay the tuition for the first year. If we wanted to go to college for additional years, then we were entirely on our own financially.

During the beginning of my junior year of high school, I was playing in a tennis tournament at Pasadena Community College.  Mother Wilfrid, principal of Mayfield School in Pasadena, liked tennis and came to watch me play that day.  She talked to my dad during the match about my attending Mayfield School.  My dad said that the only thing he could afford was the summer and winter uniforms. Mother Wilfrid offered me a scholarship to her high school.  The school was run by the Sisters of the Holy Child and taught girls from wealthy families.  In this atmosphere tennis was a popular competitive sport.  I took my first plane ride when I  competed on this school’s team!

The reason I bring this up is because every graduate from this school went on to college.  So I did.  But I soon agonized about what I wanted to do with my life.  After all, at college you are there for a reason, especially when you are paying for it.  I finally made my decision.  From then on I went from poor and average grades to all As in the science courses I had to take.  I did so well in organic chemistry at UCLA that my professor sent me a postcard asking why I didn’t become a chemistry major.  I was rejected from the University of California in San Francisco, however, due to my earlier grades.  That soon changed with the improved grades.  I received a notice saying that I was now the first one on the list for acceptance and most likely I would be entering next fall.  I was elated.

It was at this university (San Francisco Medical Center) that I was required to do assignments using the medical journals at the library.  When I became a mother for the first and second time and had many concerns about what was involved with natural child spacing, I made a quick trip to San Francisco and headed for that medical library to begin my research.  God was behind all of this.  He knew the steps I needed to take in order to be a disciple in this area of breastfeeding and natural child spacing.

To be continued next week.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding