Archive for the ‘Mother and Baby as One’ Category

The Importance of the First Three Years

Sunday, January 13th, 2019

In 1994 Sister Maria Corazon Cruz Gonzales, E.m.m. wrote “Caring for and Educating a Child from Conception to Three Years Old in the Teachings of the Church.”  This is her doctoral dissertation at the John Paul II Institute for the Study of Marriage and the Family.  I want to quote a few sentences from her paper.

“Each newborn infant carries within himself life’s greatest promise: a new hope for the world.  For each tiny baby has the potential to love and be loved, to value himself yet care for others, to develop his unique abilities and talents and one day become a human being who can help change the world—for the better!”

“Love prevails as the vehicle in the development of the child’s sense of trust in others and in himself, an essential in the growth process to produce emotionally stable individuals.”

“The power of love is so strong in the early years of a child’s life that it can make sick babies well, as its absence can make well babies sick.”

In 1991, the Bishops in the Philippines stated “the Christian family is the first school of discipleship and evangelization where the father and the mother are the first catechists of the children.”

And in 1981 when visiting the Philippines, Pope John Paul II taught that the family is the first seminary.  “The family is the ‘Premium Seminarium,’ the first seminary where the faith is nourished and priestly religious and missionary vocations have their origin.  The family has a special charism for transmitting the Faith…”

(Sheila: The power of love and the wellness described above is easily achieved naturally with the oneness of mother and baby with breastfeeding.)

Natural Family Planning and the Mother!

Sunday, May 13th, 2018

Nature intends for mother and baby to be one, a biological unit. Mothers who remain with their babies will find it easy to follow the ecological breastfeeding program. Nature rewards the ecological breastfeeding mother by providing many benefits to her, including natural child spacing. Any mother who is interested in natural mothering and its related child spacing effect should desire the oneness that nature intended between mother and child. In fact, such a mother soon discovers that she does not want to leave her baby; instead she makes every effort to have her baby with her no matter where she goes.

A nursing mother who loves and cares for her baby will experience a relationship that she may never have with other persons. As one mother told me, “This is the first time I ever felt truly needed, that I was irreplaceable.” This love relationship is built in naturally—the mother’s body is geared toward giving by the continuous production of milk. Likewise, breastfeeding hormones help her to feel more motherly. Nature has her own built-in laws for the child’s development, and today her ways are being discovered more and more by researchers in the field.

The World Health Organization described this oneness well: “Mothers and babies form an inseparable biological and social unit; the health and nutrition of one group cannot be divorced from the health and nutrition of the other.” Other researchers have described mother and infant as one biological system.

Mother-baby togetherness is the key to natural child spacing.
The practice of mother-baby togetherness has an impact on natural child spacing. The following example helps to make this point. A study conducted in the West African country of Rwanda discovered that there were no differences in the birth intervals of bottlefeeding mothers in the city compared to those in the rural areas. On the other hand, among breastfeeding mothers, there were significant differences. The city breastfeeding mothers were already developing patterns of separation from their babies; 75% of the city breastfeeding mothers conceived between 6 and 15 months postpartum. However, in the rural areas, the breastfeeding mothers still kept their babies with them all the time; 75% of the rural breastfeeding mothers conceived between 24 and 29 months postpartum. In this culture there were no contraceptives used or taboos against intercourse after childbirth. The researchers concluded that the only difference they could see between the two breastfeeding groups was the amount of physical contact the baby had with his mother.

The baby is important, but so is the mother.
A chief ingredient for a healthy start in life is the presence of a continuous loving relationship with one mother figure. Nature has arranged this type of care through the oneness of mother and child through breastfeeding. Contrary to the popular opinion that you will spoil your baby by responding promptly to his needs, we are now being told that you can’t give the baby too much love. Love him, enjoy him, meet his needs, and respond to his smiles, cries, and discomforts. Again, nature has already ensured that babies will receive this constant, individualized loving attention through the breastfeeding that only a mother can provide. Ecological breastfeeding provides lots of personal contact with the baby and is eminently well suited for taking care of baby’s nutritional and emotional needs. Mother and baby are one.

With breastfeeding this relationship becomes even more evident. Maria Montessori was a strong promoter of breast-milk-only for the first six months of life, very gradual weaning, and mother-baby inseparability during the early years. In fact, she recommended nursing for 1½ to 3 years. Why? Because “prolonged lactation requires the mother to remain with her child.”  She had it right back in 1949 when she wrote the first edition of The Absorbent Mind. Where would societies be today if parents had listened and followed her advice?
Sheila Kippley
Next week:  Mother and her Importance for a Healthy Society

Breastfeeding and Avoiding Poor Attachment

Sunday, December 10th, 2017

How do you avoid poor attachment with your baby?  (continued from previous blog)

Dr. Ken Magid, a clinical psychologist for 20 years, said that “second to killing someone, isolation is the worst thing we can do” and, therefore, that babies need to be nursed, rocked, swayed, and held.  According to Magid, nurturing is the key.  Having a good outcome for your child begins by “being wanted” as an infant and “being wanted” starts at the breast of the mother.  High-risk children have experienced trauma in their lives, and it usually happens during the first year and a half of life.  The trauma is due to severe stress, said Magid, and these high-risk kids place little value on their lives and no value on other people’s lives.

What researchers have learned is that stress harms brain cells.  During stress the body gives out large doses of cortisol.  Cortisol can shrink the part of the brain responsible for learning.  Cortisol can also stunt the brain cells’ ability to communicate with each other by causing the connecting dendrites to atrophy.  Brain cells die in both humans and animals when neglected by their mothers.   That’s the bad news.  The good news is that the mother’s physical presence or contact with her baby protects the baby against these harmful effects.

Isabelle Fox, a psychotherapist for 35 years, compares the effects upon a small child when a total stranger takes care of him to the lack of care of one spouse to another spouse.  She says:  “How important would any married person feel if his or her spouse was seldom home when needed or paid a stranger to take him or her out for dinner or to a movie?”  The child taken care of by others similarly can feel he is of little value to his parents.  In a parenting magazine, The Nurturing Parent, last summer, Dr. Fox asks:  “Is there a noticeable difference in the child parented by a consistent, nurturing caregiver in the crucial pre-verbal years of zero to three years of age?”  She answers “Yes!   I have seen the benefits of a consistent, responsive caregiver, and the disasters when this does not occur.”

I know people, and I’m sure you do also, who are hurting because they feel they have no family that cares about them or who feel their parents show no interest in them.  This situation can be very painful for anyone, even as adults.  As Gerald Campbell [mentioned in last week’s blog] said, “Americans have an aloneness that cannot be tolerated by the human heart.”    And to repeat from last week’s blog,  the proper care of a little one can be summarized with three key words:  Availability, Responsiveness, and Sensitivity.  And those three forms of care by the mother occur more easily with breastfeeding.
(Sheila Kippley:   These last four blogs were part of a keynote address given at LLL So. Calif. State Conference, May 1998.  I feel the importance of the mother’s presence to her baby during the early years  needs to be repeated every few years.)