Natural Family Planning International

Canadian psychiatrist Elliott Barker worked with 300 of the most dangerous persons in Ontario at a maximum-security prison. All of these prisoners were criminally insane. Through his studies. Barker gradually became convinced that a tendency to criminal behavior can be traced back to the lack of care a person receives during the first three years of life. The greatest cruelty that can happen to human persons during the first three years, he said, is “to harm them so emotionally that they can never form an affectionate relationship with another human being, that they can never trust another person, and that they can never have the capacity for empathy.” It is during these early years that a person develops the capacity to trust, to empathize, and to show affection.

He took his message to the teens in the classroom.  In an effort to prevent or reduce criminal activity, the doctor told teenagers that the most important job they will ever do is to raise their children. The job of parenting takes priority over their career or anything else, and the time during pregnancy and during the first three years are the most important years of formation. That is when the life-foundation is set.  Barker told teens to do three things as parents:
1) Fall in love with your baby through a positive birth experience. The father should be present at the birth.
2) The mother should strengthen that love by breastfeeding her baby until he no longer needs it.
3) The mother should keep her baby with her as much as possible. Separations and changing caregivers make it harder for babies to learn trust.

Again breastfeeding and avoiding separation of mother and baby is the message for a better society.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years

Andrew Payton Thomas in his book, Crime and the Sacking of America, believes that one of the reasons the crime rates are soaring is because both parents are joining the workforce.  In his words:

“The rise of daycare in modern America says some painful things about us as parents and as a nation and culture, things that are easier for adults to leave unsaid.  But the truth is always worth telling, and it is this:  Many American parents today simply do not wish to raise their own children.  Indeed, never before in history have a people become so intensely individualistic that their love for their children can be purchased so cheaply… Children are taught, literally from the cradle, that life is looking out for #1.”

Gerald Campbell, head of The Impact Group, claimed at the Fellowship of Catholic Scholars Convention, September 20, 1997, that the #1 problem in our society is alienation, an emptiness, “an aloneness that cannot be tolerated by the human heart.”  What people really need in his estimation is love, understanding, mercy and compassion, and commitment from one person who learns to give of self “without any conditions or expectations whatsoever.”   He spoke of daycare as the ill of the future, and he stressed the value of a mother’s presence.

To prevent alienation in our society and to develop healthy individuals who feel loved and valued, good care by the mother for her child during the first three years of life is crucial.  What is so important about breastfeeding is that it usually gives babies the best nurturing and the best nutrition.   Prolonged lactation naturally provides those two realities that make such a positive difference!

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years

The oneness of mother and baby is important for society.  William Gairdner in his book, The War Against the Family, claims that there is unanimity on this important point:  “poorly attached children are sociopaths in the making.”  To avoid poorly attached children, the answer is good mothering.

Gairdner’s key words for good mothering are these: availability, responsiveness, and sensitivity. Mr. Gairdner pointed out that three separate research studies conducted at three different major universities all clearly showed that what babies and young children need is 1) mother’s availability, 2) mother’s sensitivity to her child’s signals, and 3) mother’s responsiveness to her child’s need for comfort and protection.  In other words, the mother has to be there, she has to read the signals of her baby, and she has to respond to her baby in a sensitive manner.

Gairdner also states in his book that “young children need an uninterrupted, intimate, and continuous connection with their mothers, especially in the very early months and years.”  With prolonged breastfeeding, the mother does have an uninterrupted and continuous relationship with her baby, and it’s an intimate relationship as well.

By the way, my husband got steamed enough to write a blog on Natural Family Planning and USCCB Litany.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years