Canadian psychiatrist Elliott Barker worked with 300 of the most dangerous persons in Ontario at a maximum-security prison. All of these prisoners were criminally insane. Through his studies. Barker gradually became convinced that a tendency to criminal behavior can be traced back to the lack of care a person receives during the first three years of life. The greatest cruelty that can happen to human persons during the first three years, he said, is “to harm them so emotionally that they can never form an affectionate relationship with another human being, that they can never trust another person, and that they can never have the capacity for empathy.” It is during these early years that a person develops the capacity to trust, to empathize, and to show affection.
He took his message to the teens in the classroom. In an effort to prevent or reduce criminal activity, the doctor told teenagers that the most important job they will ever do is to raise their children. The job of parenting takes priority over their career or anything else, and the time during pregnancy and during the first three years are the most important years of formation. That is when the life-foundation is set. Barker told teens to do three things as parents:
1) Fall in love with your baby through a positive birth experience. The father should be present at the birth.
2) The mother should strengthen that love by breastfeeding her baby until he no longer needs it.
3) The mother should keep her baby with her as much as possible. Separations and changing caregivers make it harder for babies to learn trust.
Again breastfeeding and avoiding separation of mother and baby is the message for a better society.
Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years