The book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar (Penguin Random House, 2017) is an informative book for every mother to read. Whether you are a stay-at-home mother or work part-time or full-time as a mother, this book stresses the importance of prioritizing those first 3 years for every child you may have. Mothers in any of those situations I listed in the first sentence can neglect their young one. The author works with mothers who have troubled children, and she offers excellent advice for being a better mother. I would encourage new parents or parent-to-be to read this book. If you can’t afford it, ask your local public library to stock it.
I don’t agree with everything she says, especially her sleep advice. However, she offers ways to show an interest in your child. If you get a nanny, she has a list of questions that a mother should consider asking during an interview. She describes how mothers have improved their relationship with a troubled child.
Today it is difficult, almost impossible, to find a book emphasizing how important the mother’s presence is for her child’s healthy development. It is not the father’s presence that’s needed. It’s the mother’s presence and her involvement and care for her baby or little one that is much needed.
The research supports the fact that problems with children “are often related to the premature separation of children from their mothers.” The research, the statistical evidence, and the case experiences by her and her colleagues make a “strong argument that as a society we are failing our children.”
One sentence I highlighted in her book is the following: “For the past thirty years, researchers have been studying mothers and children across different cultures, and their findings have confirmed what I and my fellow psychoanalysts and therapists have seen in our practices: that infants and toddlers who have the constant and consistent presence of an attentive and sensitive mother are more likely to be emotionally and psychologically healthy children and adolescents.”
Sheila: Ecological breastfeeding provides the presence of an attentive and sensitive mother for a considerable amount of time after childbirth. God’s plan of breastfeeding is not limited to the first 6 months. His plan can last for at least two years and two years of breastfeeding has been promoted by St. John Paul II, UNICEF and WHO. God’s plan of breastfeeding offers long-term health and emotional benefits to both mother and baby. More information on the crucial first 3 years is available at NFPI.