We received an important comment from a reader who was unable to reach us via computer and sent this message by regular mail. It shows the importance of teaching chastity in an NFP program.
“Nice job on your blogs. I have used the birth control pill in my marriage and know in my past thinking, that I would not have believed that I was ‘violating’ myself or reducing my ‘dignity’ by using it.
My husband and I just helped out on an engaged encounter weekend for our Catholic diocese. The acceptability of oral/anal behaviors came up, and several people laughed. Side remarks showed this was seen by some as okay. It took a very frank, clear, descriptive explanation to teach marital chastity during the fertile time and where marital affection must end when the couple do not intend to engage in a complete marriage act. ‘Dignity’ and ‘violation’ words never would have been clear enough for these young adults.
I often recall one NFP class we taught where withdrawal was mentioned as an unacceptable behavior. One young couple came up afterwards to clarify if we really meant it. With further direct, clear input using the Bible and Church teaching, the young woman said, “Well, we won’t be doing that anymore.” I cannot imagine that a ‘dignity’ or ‘violation’ discussion alone would have affected this couple.”
For posting or reading comments: Two friends had trouble posting their comments. For reading or posting comments, go to the end of the blog and hit “comment.” Some have requested that their last name not be given. You may give only your first name. I post the comments and can check on this; if your last name appears, I can delete it. But you must let me know. We close down comments after a week has passed to avoid excessive spam messages.
Next week: More on the need for chastity.
Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
Natural Family Planning (e-book at www.nfpandmore.org)